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There are some very interesting websites that
are consistently addressing mental illness and new research on the brain! Be sure to check out this page and the homepage
of anxieties 101 for links to those sites!
Newsweek Online
Newsweek Online
Welcome to Max’s World
Newsweek Online
Bipolar disorder is a mystery and a subject of medical debate. But for the Blakes, it's just reality.
Mysteries of Memory
Newsweek Online
The Culture of Prozac - Newsweek Online
It was explained so totally "in the simplest terms" this
morning - 10/01/08 on the Today Show that women need to band together - "An Army of Women" so
that the medical community can test healthy women as well as those who have been diagnosed with Breast
Cancer - so that researchers can compare the blood, tissue, histories, lifestyle factors, all pertinent information
- to compare against those with breast cancer in hopes of finding out "what causes breast cancer?"
You can help and we all NEED to help in order
to make this campaign successful. Looking for something to do that will make you feel better about yourself? Volunteer
in the Army of Women by clicking the above link and signing up right online now!
  Inspirations...
For a life changing listen - click here - it's truly life changing and something we all need to listen
to. It does take some time to listen to Randy Pausch's Last Lecture, but you won't regret it.
Perhaps some of you saw Diane Sawyer interview Randy last night, April 9th, on television,
but if you didn't see it and don't know about Randy's Last Lecture, please click on the link above when you have some time
because it is lengthy and listen to it.
You can now go to this homepage and click on the arrow on the video to hear some of Randy's Lecture!
Here is the letter I posted on the ABC Board after the interview article with Diane Sawyer.
It really touched me and I know you will be thrilled with how it affects you.
April 9, 2008
Dear Randy,
I’ve
struggled – only slightly – first in deciding whether or not to write this letter; secondly in how to address
it. My salutations are often more important to me than the letter. I chose therefore, to address it to who you are, Randy; not my inspiration, as someone else most likely has referred to you as. Not my hero because
I haven’t figured that one out yet. But Randy, you have been much more than
either of those things to me because you have validated what has taken me almost six years or more truthfully you might say,
my entire life - to realize.
Having never
attended college because my father didn’t believe that women should go there, I started out my adult life beaten down
and sad. He told me when I asked him to help me with my paperwork for the University
of New Hampshire that I needed to be a wife, a mother – a housekeeper
– yes, that’s what women were born to do. He laughed at my dreams of becoming a history teacher. So, I did what
he thought I needed to do. I was a failure at it; maybe on purpose just to spurn him. But I loved being a mother. That part
I have loved and will always love. I have five beautiful children.
Being exposed
to many traumas, crises and violence throughout childhood and after marrying three abusive men; depression and other mental
illnesses bogged me down into life’s trenches. Years of domestic violence which was also a generational plague in our
family caused me to feel my life was pretty much a terminal bout with the cancer of life. It was the cancer that we see in
everyday life somewhere in our prisons, city streets in our homeless, our domestic violence shelters and drug treatment centers;
a cancer of hopelessness, pain, sorrow and overwhelming grief.
Then one
day, expecting my fifth child within days I realized that I was extremely tired from running from one domestic violence shelter
to another to save our lives. I put my foot down and said, “That’s enough!” It was the hardest thing I had
ever done. I just left it all behind, boarding a bus to somewhere, anywhere would be better than where I’d already been.
The shelter gave me a bus ticket and I left Grand Rapids, Michigan
for a new start somewhere that no one would find me.
I was given
a second chance – a remission so to speak. This remission afforded me a chance to take some deep breaths and think.
I thought about living my life without all the cancers of life residing within me; and when I got on the bus that day I left
it all behind. A brown paper sack held my bible, a yard sale baby outfit, and some pampers for my two year old son –
no need for anything else but hope, determination and prayer – which didn’t take up any space in the sack because
they were deep within my heart. I ended up in Dayton, Ohio.
I didn’t know anyone, but I was alive. We were alive to start over and to find out what life was truly about.
Against the
odds, against the physicians’ denial of liability, I had my baby two days later because it was time. With this daughter’s
birth, my healing began. Now, thirteen years later I’ve finally accomplished some things that I’m proud of. Though
still recovering and forever growing, I’ve designed a network of websites throughout my personal growth recovery journey
to prove that you can help yourself the most through helping others. Just as your lecture has touched the world, I too, have
touched a certain number of people and it has helped me more than anyone but you and others like us would understand.
This past
year, 2007, the great truth came to me – the most important thing in our life is to live in “the truth.”
If we live in the truth we have nothing to fear. As I decided to leave all my fears behind, shedding them like old skin, I
decided I had lived in fear long enough – I let it go. Suddenly I realized the power I had gained through renouncing
my fears – eliminating any remaining depression and anxiety. I’ve been writing about it in the network of 28+
websites I’ve been posting online to help others who are also in a personal journey.
I had been
a bit, “stuck” not knowing how to go forward from where I had climbed when I watched the video of your lecture.
My heart soared. You agreed with me. You, so powerful in your truth, renouncing the fear of dying in living, validated my
journey so eloquently and surely. It was the nudge I needed to go on, leaving behind any remaining doubt, worry or insecurity.
The cancers
of life find it harder to get to us after realizing the truth’s glorious victory. And you, Randy,
have validated that fact for me. I listened to your speech after reading about it in a magazine article. I also watched Diane Sawyer on television
interviewing you. I feel as though my story is a total reverse of yours. But you’ve made me feel proud that I came to
the same determination that you have stated about the importance of the truth.
I laughed
openly – out loud – as I realized that both of my teenagers have been bugging me to let them paint their rooms
the way they want to. I had just a few weeks before listening to your speech – gave them the okay. When I heard you
talking about it, I cried. Big alligator tears reflecting the joy of birth and the sorrow in death – I just wanted to
thank you and tell you I laughed and I cried with you. Your story, mine in reverse – have touched each other and I’m
so grateful for it. I just had to take this moment to thank you.
Kathleen Howe
the emotional
feelings network of sites
By clicking the above underlined link word, "connection" you can find out how important our connections with other human beings is to our mental health!
When you're not "feeling right" & you're
not sure what's wrong... sometimes you just need to make a "connection" with someone to talk and share your concerns and life problems with.
There's always someone here at the
emotional feelings network of sites. I am always available to answer your e-mail personally & I try to do it as
quickly as possible - 365 days & nights a year - to let you know that someone cares.
Please use this valuable resource without any worries. It's
helpful to know that you always have a friend who will listen.
kathleen
you'll see the link below to click on to send an e-mail!
| you can send an e-mail to me at any time of day! |
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| I'll answer promptly! |
the ad council reinforces my belief of helping yourself thru helping others... visit the website: Don't
almost give....
get curious about how you can benefit from helping others!
I was personally very touched by this inspiring story as I watched it on
television last night (2/27/07); especially after I experienced a life altering injury which took me 2 years to recover from.
What I want to ask you is...
If you can't help out with the helmets, below for our military men, can
you volunteer or help our returning soldiers who are recovering with extreme traumatic brain injury?
Here are some links!
Check them out, I know that my family will be searching for a way we can help!
Remember, extreme or traumatic physical injuries affect mental health as well.
What is Operation Helmet?
Founded in 2003 by Dr. Robert H. Meaders whose grandson is an active duty Marine in Iraq, Operation Helmet is a nonpartisan 501(c)(3) organization dedicated
to providing safer helmet pad upgrade kits to the troops in Iraq & Afghanistan.
To date, more than 6,000 kits have been shipped to the troops in the field.
  I have a heavy burden on my heart
to do my part in exposing the needs of our service men and women in today's military. For this reason you will see certain
graphics and links that pertain to the military on the site pages. I'm trying to cut down on space within each site, but I
hate to cut out these important pieces of the network.
I am leaving a message on every
page to visit the "keeping in touch" page so that everyone can read about the different
causes that I believe are important to talk and think about.
One more thing... It's through
volunteer work that I've had such a successful recovery. I urge you to find a cause and volunteer immediately. There are people
in need in all aspects of life. It's our responsibility as human beings to help where we can.
Thanks for visiting!
kathleen
please take 10 minutes to
click on the above link and view this video
| remember to be kind to our soldiers |
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| understand post traumatic stress disorder |
You might as well get familiar with it now. Many of our military
men and women are returning from Iraq and Afghanistan with PTSD. I have it... it's not easy to cope with.
I'm surprised that we haven't heard more about the military family members being diagnosed with PTSD and
depression. The kids must be out of their minds with worry about their dads.
The press doesn't help. All they do is talk a negative picture of Iraq. When they do interview the troops,
you can see the positive side of it all. It very scary though. I can imagine these men and women waiting to be blown up by
those IEDs at any minute. It's very much what it was like for me waiting to see if my abusive husband was around any corner
at any time.
I had irritable bowel syndrome as well. Depression was always lurking and then the eating disorder. Those
that have been traumatized have consequences to deal with. Your psyche can only take so much trauma and then things go haywire.
The continued stress the troops are dealing with is debilitating.
Read about post traumatic stress disorder and also... have time to volunteer? Find out if there is some way you can help those military men and women who have come back disable with severe injuries.
Their families need us to hold them in our arms!
| looking for something to do as a volunteer? |
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| or are you just wondering how to help our troops? |
Many people today use the helpful resources
available on line especially that of "support groups." Support groups are essential in any kind
of healing or recovery. Many people in today's hectic world suffer in silence, alone, fearing that sharing their own personal
agony will burden someone that they know and feel comfortable with.
At the emotional feelings
network of sites, I've had an amazing journey with the support group for night eaters at yahoo. It's the only group
that I've started besides one on MSN that's been active.
It's my first time dealing with support groups
and helping others with the same problems I've encountered in my life and I'm sure that millions of other people have experienced.
In keeping with my knowledge that support
is essential in recovery, I've formed several groups to answer the need. So far only the night eating group has been active.
It's very active. I'm amazed that it continues to add members since March and now has 33 members.
This is so amazing because night eaters are
filled with guilt, shame and disgust because of their eating disorder. Many aren't aware that others are suffering with the
same syndrome. There isn't much info concerning night eating out there. So when we get a new member, they're so glad to have
found the group.
If you have a topic that you would like to
promote for a support group, please email me and I'll consider it! Get curious by joining a group for support! You might like it and if you don't - well - either sign out of it or just forget that you
joined it!
Thanks for considering the groups at Yahoo
for the emotional feelings network of sites!
| you can send an e-mail to me at any time of day! |
|
| I'll answer promptly! |
Click to join nighteating101
night eating...
it's a syndrome. I had it, and I quit doing it. I don't think
you ever totally get rid of it, because I still feel the urge. I feel like I could be a night eater again at any moment.
Join this group if you're experiencing binge eating at night.
If you're consuming more than half of your calories at night, then you might be experiencing night eating syndrome.
It's a great group! We have both men and women. Most of the
people in the group have been night eating for over 5 years. Join us! It's a great group of people to support each other with
this very difficult syndrome.!
You can always visit the website to learn more about it as well as learn about all eating disorders and
sleep disorders as well!
Click to join nighteating101
I'm all for them!!! Support groups are wonderful for those of you who are trying to recover
from something or those of you who are in need of social support for any difficult problem you may be experiencing.
Support groups allow us to listen and to learn. We can vent and air our problems in hopes
of someone else listening and hearing what our pain is about and offering some touching words that can help us through yet
another day of difficulties.
I've tried to get together support groups for the emotional feelings network of sites - one
for emotion and feeling work and the other for mental illnesses. I also tried for domestic violence or abuse, but they were
all 3 not successful. I only had a few people sign up. But the night eating support group thrives! We have over 50 members
of that group now that are a bunch of wonderful people trying to deal with night eating syndrome.
If you'd like to become a member of a support group, I'll be listing a number of groups here
this month for you to check out!
kathleen!
why join the group? read this article to find out!
Becoming A Resilient Survivor: How Recovery from Emotional Trauma Can Lead To New Strengths & Wisdom
by Al Siebert, Ph.D.
Adapted from The Resiliency Advantage: Master Change, Thrive Under Pressure and Bounce Back From
Setbacks by Al Siebert, Ph.D. (Berrett-Koehler Publishers)
Anyone who survives
a highly distressing experience will never be the same again. Some survivors remain emotionally wounded for life. They relive & re-experience distressing moments over & over. They often dwell on fears about what could happen to them again or to others.
Many survivors
recover fairly well with the help of their family & friends. A few go beyond recovery, however. In their struggle to heal & put their past behind them, they grow & become even better than
they were before. They become transformed in ways they value.
Every transformational
journey is unique, but heroic survivors have 2 things in common. First, they integrate the traumatic experience into their public identity & make the experience a defining part of their life story.
Second, they talk or
write about it in a way that has an inspiring effect on others.
The transformational
process of recovery from deeply distressing, traumatic experiences takes many months or years & usually proceeds thru these phases:
Into the Fire: Reliving the Fears & Memories
- Your effort to suppress
the painful memories & feelings isn't working. You haven't been able to make the feelings & memories go away. You tried to keep your feelings secret, you didn't tell anyone. You avoided situations that might stir up the feelings & memories. You may have attempted to deaden the pain with medications, drugs & alcohol. Are easily upset by certain statements made by others. You have flashbacks. You wonder "Why me?" You have tried to fake being "normal." You feel isolated, lonely & have few close relationships.
- You take the courageous step to relive your traumatic experiences with a friend, a counselor, or a support group of people
who have been thru similar experiences. Painful memories & feelings get uncorked. You have nightmares. You feel like you're falling into a bottomless well. You find yourself reliving the experience during conversations, at
movies, in the store, almost any place. You wish you never started this.
Taking Control Phase: Wrestling for Control of Your Spirit
- You repeat, relive
& talk about the experience again & again with good listeners. You write about your feelings in a journal. You discover after awhile that you can tell a shorter version, a summary of what happened with
less emotional pain. You feel moments of relief. You sleep & feel better. You notice that there is something freeing from knowing that other people know what you went thru & care for you.
- You begin to observe
yourself more than ever before. You face your fears. You question your erroneous beliefs & assumptions. You discover that you aren't as responsible for what happened as you always believed. You struggle to break free from old emotional habits. You defiantly build positive self-regard. You experience breakthru insights into yourself & others. You give up old scripts, "games" & ways of manipulating people. You feel embarrassed about what you used to do, but also feel happy about what you're learning about yourself. You see some positive aspects, some benefits from going thru all this.
- You dismiss suggestions
that you forgive the offender / perpetrator (if any). You still feel
angry. You don't want to forgive. You may want revenge, punishment, justice. You may need to take some action to confront, report, publicize, or resolve what happened.
- Transition Phase:
Awkward Efforts in Unfamiliar Territory You regress, slide back, or repeat an old pattern you thought you'd left behind. You find that old mental & emotional habits are hard to break. You accept that you're human, forgive yourself & start over again.
- You decide that for
your own well being you'll to try to forgive, but are very clear this doesn't mean condoning, approving, or excusing what happened. You don't try to forgive because others say you should. You'll forgive only when you feel ready, if you ever do.
- You experiment telling
your story to others outside your support group & circle of closest friends. You discover that many people either can't handle listening for more than short time or become overly sympathetic & distraught about what you went thru. Both kinds of listeners have to be coped with, are dissatisfying to talk with. You face a new challenge, that of learning to develop conscious choices about who you tell about your past, when & how much you say.
- You struggle with assimilating
your traumatic experience into your identity. How do you deal with people who label you by your experience?
- You ask yourself "Is
there a gift in this? A blessing?"
Learn to Deal With Poor Listeners
Many who inquire about
your experience become people you have to cope with. Some people ask what it was like for you, but can't handle listening for more than several minute; they walk away or interrupt to express their opinions. Other people become overly sympathetic & distraught if you tell them about what you went thru.
To handle questioners
well, it's useful to develop the ability to choose to:
- not talk about your experience even when asked.
- give a short, "Reader's Digest" summary & then change the subject.
- talk in detail with the rare person who is sincerely
interested, will take time to listen & is a good listener.
Speaking With Wisdom, Not Pain
- You find that you can
have 2 sets of feelings about what you went thru. You can have both negative feelings & positive feelings. The counter-balance to painful memories is finding a positive meaning in what you'd been thru (like Dr. Viktor Frankl)
& discovering a new, positive life purpose.
- You notice that you
have more self-confidence & better judgment than before. Your relationships improve.
- You make yourself available to others who are just starting to deal with similar traumatic experiences. You're able to listen to them without falling back into your old pain. You encourage & coach them without trying to rescue them. You can talk about what you did & what you learned in a way useful to
them.
- You talk with various
people about your healing process & your learnings in away that doesn't subject listeners to the pain or distress you went thru. You can talk about your experiences as an observer & learner. You confess mistakes, bad judgment, weaknesses & laugh at yourself. Now when you tell your story, you do so without re-experiencing strong
distress. When you tell your story you do so for the benefit of others to inspire & encourage them.
- You discover that you
have valuable messages for a wider audience, that you've acquired important learnings in the school of life that you want to share with people facing many kinds of difficulties. You realize that without
the traumatic experiences you'd never have
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