The subconscious mind regards the words & thoughts that get lodged inside it as expressing & describing a real situation & therefore endeavors to align the words & thoughts with reality. It works diligently to make these words & thoughts a reality in the life of the person saying or thinking them.

This means that if you often tell yourself that it's difficult or impossible to acquire money, the subconscious mind will accept your words & put obstacles in your way. If you keep saying that you're rich, it'll find ways to bring you opportunities & push you towards taking advantage of these opportunities.

The thoughts that you express thru your words shape your life. This is often done unconsciously, as few pay attention to their thoughts & the words they use while thinking & let outside circumstances & situations determine what they think about. In this case there's no freedom. Here the outside world affects the inner world.

If you consciously choose the thoughts, phrases & words that you repeat in your mind, your life will start to change. You'll begin creating new situations & circumstances. You'll be using the power of affirmations.

Affirmations are sentences that are repeated often during the day & which sink into the subconscious mind, thereby releasing its enormous power to materialize the intention of the words & phrases in the outside world.

This doesn't mean that every word has the power to make changes. The words have to be said with attention & with feeling, in order to trigger the subconscious mind into action.

Affirmations have to be phrased in positive words in order to be effective. Consider the following 2 sentences:

1. I'm not weak anymore.

2. I'm strong & powerful.

Though both sentences seem to say the same thing in different words, the first one is a negative sentence. It creates in the mind a mental image of weakness. This is a wrong wording. The 2nd sentence awakens in the mind a mental image of strength.

It isn't enough to say an affirmation a few times & then expect your life to change. More than this is necessary. It's important to affirm with attention, as well as with strong desire, faith & persistence. It's also important to choose the right affirmation for any specific situation.

You need to feel comfortable with it; otherwise the affirmation may not work or may bring you something that you don't want.

Affirmations can be used to strengthen the process of creative visualization & they can be used on their own. They're of special importance for people who find it difficult to visualize. In this case they're a substitution to creative visualization.

Instead of repeating negative & useless words & phrases in the mind, you can choose positive words & phrases to help you build the life you want. By choosing your thoughts & words you exercise control over your life.

Here are a few affirmations:

Day by day I'm becoming happier & more satisfied.

With every inhalation I'm filling myself with happiness.

Love is filling my life now.

The power of the Cosmos is filling my life with love.

A lot of money is flowing now into my life.

The power of the Universal Mind is now filling my life with wealth.

The powerful & vital energy of the Cosmos is flowing & filling my body & mind.

Healing energy is constantly filling every cell of my body.

I always stay calm & in control of myself, in every situation & in all circumstances.

I'm having a wonderful, happy & fascinating day.

The nature of the father-daughter relationship & its effects on adolescent females by Rose Bernardo

The relationship between a father & his daughter is one of the most unique relationships in the family structure.

It being the least understood & the least studied, this is a relationship in which very little is known. Because very few studies address this phenomenon there's limited attention given to the impact that fathers have on their daughters.

The findings that have emerged from the few studies performed show that fathers have considerable effect on their adolescent daughter's self esteem & their choice of men (Naus & Scheffler, 1999).

The Research

There's a significant lack of research on this topic & also many biases that come thru the findings. The majority of research performed on this topic studies white, middle class, 2 parent households.

Very little is known about the father's effect on the life of his daughter in minority, lower class, single - parent homes.

In addition to the lack of diversity in the study, the research that has been done focuses primarily on personal stories, Freud's Electra complex, or incest, rather than on "normal" father-daughter relationships (Naus & Scheffler, 1999).

In order to receive a broad range of information on the effects of father-daughter relationships, 2 studies will be summarized. The first deals with general findings. The 2nd is a study done with ethnic minority, low income households.

This will help in gathering a well rounded view & one without bias toward the typical family that is studied.

The Effects of Fatherly Affirmation

In the first study, Naus & Scheffler (1999) aimed at answering the question, what's the relationship between fatherly affirmation & a woman's self esteem, fear of intimacy, comfort with womanhood & comfort with sexuality?

They conducted their research on 57 college women & used rating scales to measure each of the variables. What they found was a significant correlation between fatherly affirmation & self-esteem, fear of intimacy & comfort with sexuality.

There wasn't a relationship between fatherly affirmation & comfort with womanhood as hypothesized. The most noted of the variables was a woman's self-esteem.

The more affirmed women are by their fathers, the higher their self-esteem. Also notable was a woman's fear of intimacy. If affirmed by her father, she experiences a decreased fear of intimacy in romantic relationships & this, in turn, affects her choice of men.

The Nature of Father-Daughter Relations

In the second study, Gilman & Way (2000) researched early adolescent girls' perception of their relationship with their fathers. The significant difference of this study to the majority of other studies done on this topic is that Gilman & Way (2000) studied Latinos or African Americans from low income, single or 2 parent households.

Their focus was aimed at the biological father, regardless of whether or not he lived in the house with his daughter. After using an interview method, Gilman & Way (2000) found 4 themes present in each of the girl's relationships with their fathers.

• The 1st was that the time spent with one another consisted of shared activities & doing "things" with their fathers (Gilman & Way, 2000).

It was noted that the girls didn't share intimate communication with their fathers, but rather they held impersonal conversations about school, sports & the world in general.

• The 2nd theme found was an overwhelming desire for more (Gilman & Way, 2000).

The girls desired to have more time with their fathers, regardless of the father's residential status.

• The 3rd theme was a father's protection of his daughter (Gilman & Way, 2000).

Fathers were viewed as overprotective, trying to keep their daughters away from the dangers of the world & the risks associated with peer & romantic relationships.

• The 4th theme was a daughter's protection of their father (Gilman & Way, 2000). This came as a result of poor relations with their mother. Daughters came to protect their fathers from criticisms & from their father's own negative feelings.

A Summary of the Findings

From the 2 studies done by Naus & Scheffler (1999) & Gilman & Way (2000) a diverse & well rounded view of the father-daughter relationship has been noted.

It was found that fatherly affirmation was significantly correlated with a woman's self-esteem, her comfort with her sexuality & a decreased fear of intimacy.

In regards to the actual relationship between a father & his daughter, it was found that girls spend their time doing things with their fathers, as opposed to sharing intimate conversations.

They desire more & they share a mutual protection for one another.

Overall, it's apparent that there's a significant effect on a female as a result of the relationship she shares w/her father & much more research is needed to explain this phenomenon.

Reference List

• Gillman, D.A., & Way, N. (2000). Early adolescent girls' perceptions of their relationships w/their fathers: A qualitative investigation. Journal of Early Adolescence, 20(3), 309-331.
• Naus, P.J., & Scheffler, T.S. (1999). The relationship between fatherly affirmation &a woman's self-esteem, fear of intimacy, comfort w/womanhood & comfort w/sexuality.The Canadian Journal of Human Sexuality, 8(1), 39-45.

Affirming Your Mental Health:
Assessing Your Ability for a Healthy Relationship
Howard R. Fradkin, Ph.D.

I believe it all starts with asking yourself:

• Am I available for a healthy relationship?
• To start with, am I single?

Many folks who are already committed go searching for a new relationship before ending the one they're in. While it may feel safer in some ways to do this, in the long run it's an unhealthy way to start a new relationship & in most cases, will cause many problems down the road in the new relationship.

2nd:

• Am I emotionally available?

This entails having the ability to share your feelings & thoughts, your deepest insecurities & proudest moments, with an intimate partner.

It also involves being able to deeply care about the well-being of another person without having to control your partner.

It's important to be able to control your own emotions & behavior, but if you primarily focus on controlling your partner's feelings & behavior, this is also a significant problem in healthy relationship development.

Another way to ask this question more simply is:

• Do I love myself enough to believe I'm worthy of love & deserving of my needs to be met?

Put even more simply:

• Do I "have a life"?
• Do I emotionally allow myself to be invested in my life, in my activities & in my friendships?

Their focus was aimed at the biological father, regardless of whether or not he lived in the house with his daughter. After using an interview method, Gilman & Way (2000) found 4 themes present in each of the girl's relationships with their fathers.

• The 1st