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be sure to visit acceptance 2 - more information concerning acceptance!
welcome! to emotional feelings!
after looking things over here at emotional feelings,
try out "the layer down under," (part of the emotional feelings network of sites) & read a special "i
just gotta say it" column concerning porn addiction by clicking here! Be sure to scroll down towards the bottom of the right hand column to find it!
another important suggestion... visit
this homepage to learn more about the features included within the emotional feelings network of
sites!
I was personally very touched by this inspiring story as I watched it on
television last night (2/27/07); especially after I experienced a life altering injury which took me 2 years to recover from.
What I want to ask you is...
If you can't help out with the helmets, below for our military men, can
you volunteer or help our returning soldiers who are recovering with extreme traumatic brain injury?
Here are some links!
Check them out, I know that my family will be searching for a way we can help! Remember
that those who experience a traumatic injury may develop a problem with their mental health.
What is Operation Helmet?
Founded in 2003 by Dr. Robert H. Meaders whose grandson is an active duty Marine in Iraq, Operation Helmet is a nonpartisan 501(c)(3) organization dedicated
to providing safer helmet pad upgrade kits to the troops in Iraq & Afghanistan.
To date, more than 6,000 kits have been shipped to the troops in the field.
  How this site works best for you!
You'll
notice that there are many underlined link words in each article below. The reason for this is that you have reached not only, "emotional
feelings, the home site," but the emotional feelings network of sites. There are
many sites included within the network that'll be visited by clicking on these underlined link words.
If you can't find what you came
here looking for, visit the homepage for the emotional feelings network of sites by clicking above & read the options on
the homepage for the networks index of sites. Try to be specific when looking for an emotion or feeling word & click on the site you need!
It's very simple & very
interesting to follow your way thru the layers of your buried or stuffed emotions & feelings that have accumulated throughout the years!
when you've reached this point, or this website, you know you're making
progress!!!! this part gets difficult because now is the time to look within & become emotionally honest with yourself!!!
Best of luck & if you're
still stuck, send me an e-mail anytime, by clicking
here & I'll be glad to send you an immediate personal response!
Sincerely,
Kathleen
About acceptance / basic principles
Acceptance is an attitude.
Acceptance is a way of looking at ourselves & the world around us. It implies willingness & an openness to see things, as they truly are, without judgment. (if you're
feeling anxious you accept
that you're feeling anxious.)
That's all. It doesn't mean it's horrible or catastrophic or that the anxiety will last forever.
It doesn't mean
you won't be able to handle it. It doesn't mean anything, except that you're feeling anxious at a particular moment... that you're aware of it & you don't resist it....
Acceptance alleviates suffering.
Perhaps the greatest benefit of learning the art of acceptance is that it alleviates unnecessary suffering. That doesn't
mean you won't feel any more pain, because you will.
The kind of acceptance you want can lead you to peace amidst the pain, calm in the center of chaos, serenity in spite of suffering.
Does this sound too good to be true? In a way, it is, because acceptance doesn't simply happen overnight. Acceptance doesn't
come quickly or easily.
It's a process, much in the same way that grieving someone's death is a process. Only after you go through the:
can you move forward with a "spirit
of patience & trust." Practicing
the art of acceptance taught us to seek answers while at the same time how to tolerate uncertainty.
We're so busy putting things into categories, "this is good" or "this
is bad," that we miss the actual experience of the
moment.
It doesn't come
naturally to suspend judgment, tolerate uncertainty & turn off the on-going internal commentary that plays in our minds. All any of us can truly know is what's happening right here, right now.
That's what's important.
Acceptance is accepting:
- Each moment - good
or bad of your life
- Yourself - as you are
- The circumstances - embracing your possibilities
- People you come in contact with - learning to tolerate the diversity amongst all people
just as you & they are without:
The more you do
this, the more freedom & peace you have in your life & the more open you are to new possibilities.
Acceptance includes
accepting responsibility for quality assurance in the following areas:
- All you have & all you don't have in your life
- The love you feel for yourself & others
- The love you receive or don't receive
- Your
relationship with your parents & your children
- Your
work & financial situations
- Your health
Acceptance
is about being responsible for the way you react to your circumstances or another's behavior.
You choose how
to behave & react each & every moment & that your choices have an impact &
change the future.
Many won't
want to hear this & will find it difficult to accept, but those who do, will discover
a newfound sense of power & creativity that's invaluable.
No longer a victim of circumstance, you're empowered with acceptance to
continually move ahead.
You're not forever
stuck in recurring patterns of angst, frustration & make-wrong, or swirling
in the complaints & criticisms of others. You're too busy making things happen to waste time blaming others.
When you accept responsibility for all you have & don't have, you'll not lament
with "IF ONLY." ("if only" is truly a waste of priceless time)
more about acceptance
The Goal of Acceptance BY PHILLIP WITTMEYER
If you have this goal, you don't like being different - it's painful to you. You seek to be in accord with others & with the world. You emphasize
the ways that things are similar, rather than the ways they're different. In relationships, compatibility is very important to you, perhaps the most important ingredient - the more you have in common, the better you like it.
In fact, you avoid relationships or situations that are just too strange. You're very much concerned with issues of liking & disliking. You want to like everything & if you can't, this can be upsetting to you. This
Goal makes you a "nice" person. You try to be polite, cooperative & tactful. You smile a lot around other people in order
to appear more attractive. You try to adapt yourself to others in order to get along comfortably with them.
This is the most "popular"
of the Goals - in 2 senses of this word. By my count, well over 20% of the population has this Goal, a higher percentage than any other Goal, making it more popular than the others.
In a secondary sense, people
with this Goal are often quite popular with other people. A person with this Goal wants to be unobjectionable & inoffensive. He seeks to be pleasant. Other people usually like this. Of all the Goals, this one is usually the easiest for others to deal with because it makes its owner very agreeable.
The original name given to
the Positive Pole of this Goal was "agape", pronounced "ah'-guh-pay". This is the Greek word for "love" of the philosophical sort - pure & noble altruism. Modern psychologists call it "unconditional positive regard". It's benevolence, goodwill & kindness. Religion & philosophy generally proclaim this to be the highest virtue.
People in this pole desire a sense of belonging. It's important to them that they behave themselves benignly & beneficially in whatever situation or relationship they find themselves
in. They want to be in communion with all things. Perhaps the best way to describe this is to say that they want to be on
friendly terms with everybody.
They're gracious & charming
without insincerity. They pursue a meeting of minds by emphasizing what people have in common & they de-emphasize the
differences. They avoid disagreeing with others where such promotes harmony, but they don't back down from what's correct.
Whenever they see strife,
they want to reconcile the differences. Whenever they see 2 points of view expressed, they seek to find a larger viewpoint
which will encompass the 2. They think well of others & wish only for their benefit. When dislike is expressed toward them, they're conciliatory without compromising
their integrity. In short, they try to be loving.
In the Negative Pole of Ingratiation, you want to be liked & favored. One of the surest ways to discern
whether or not Acceptance is your Goal is to ask yourself how you behave under stress. You'll often act out of the Negative Pole of your Goal when things aren't going your way.
- Do you try to "nice" your
way out of tough situations?
- Are you uncomfortable with the thought that you're different, so you try to act like everybody else around you & agree with
them on every point?
- Do you find yourself presenting
yourself to others as overly nice & sweet - too charming to be trusted. Do you seem as if you are trying to win a popularity contest? Do you "butters others up" to gain your own ends? - the best
sycophants have this trait.
- Are you often afraid to "tell it like it is"?
- Do you tell others what you
think they want to hear, rather than the honest truth? Do you whitewash things: make them seem prettier, cleaner, finer than they really are?
- Do you also use euphemisms
so as not to risk any offense: sugarcoating your statements & using words which are softer, more palatable & easier to hear than the
strict truth?
- Do you compromises your integrity if you think it'll avoid criticism?
- Does the idea of disagreeing
with someone make you squirm with discomfort?
- Do you run from arguments
even when they'd be beneficial?
In the extreme form, this
Pole manifests as phoniness, insincerity & hypocrisy. Such is the perversion of love manifested in the fear of being at odds with others.
Quite often the Negative Pole will kick in when you're asked to do something. You naturally want to accept, to say
"yes." You'll often indiscriminately go along with it without due consideration. After all, you want to please everybody.
Only later do you realize you can't fulfill the request, or you realize that you really don't want to, so you have to rescind your acceptance.
Therefore the Ingratiating
act leads to resentment or rejection on the part of others & the shame of separation
on your own part - exactly the opposite of the intention. The way to overcome - Ingratiation is to consider & contemplate the Complementary Goal, Rejection - particularly the Positive Pole of + Discrimination. Be discerning in what's accepted &
only say yes to what's in accord with personal integrity.
Another way out of the Negative Pole is to consider the Counterpart of Acceptance, the Power Mode. - Ingratiation is a sign of weakness, but +Unification is an expression of personal power. People in the Power mode expect others to conform to them. On the other hand, Acceptance is passive & people with this goal conform themselves to others.
People in Acceptance are respo
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